


Meeting Adam

by repants



Category: Girls (TV)
Genre: F/M, Lena Dunham - Freeform, hbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-11
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2018-01-01 04:05:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1040134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/repants/pseuds/repants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the first episode of Lena Dunham's Girls, she states that she met Adam at a party. However, in the episode where the girls go to the party in Brooklyn and see Adam outside his apartment, she states that she has never seen him with a shirt or outside his apartment. This Fanfiction explains how Hannah and Adam met and how their relationship began. Hannah wants to get out of the apartment because Marni and Charlie's relationship is making it uncomfortable for her to be there. Shoshana takes her out on the town in search of a house party in Brooklyn. The two of them cannot find the party they planned to go to and end up walking into a party at Adam's house where Hannah first meets him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meeting Adam

Meeting Adam  
by Rachel “Pants” 

FADE IN.

EXT. STREETS OF BROOKLYN- NIGHT

HANNAH and SHOSHANA walk toward the camera in their best partying clothes. SHOSHANA’s hair is up in a ridiculous “half-Leia” braided bun on the right side of her head. HANNAH wears a baby doll dress, orange tights, and flats. Her forehead is left shiny and unwashed. 

SHOSHANA  
If we didn’t have bobby pins  
there would be no government. 

HANNAH  
Shosh, most of the people on  
the House and the Senate are  
either balding or Hillary Clinton. 

SHOSHANA  
Well, maybe. But like if I get  
totally drunk tonight, my hair will  
still look like this in the morning.  
Just make sure my hair looks like this  
in my own apartment because it would  
be way tragic if some Brooklyn slasher  
like took me. 

HANNAH  
I wouldn’t mind being someone’s  
slave for tonight if it meant getting  
away from Marni and Charlie.

SHOSHANA  
Oh my god! Did something like, happen?  
They are like the perfect couple.

HANNAH  
Not lately, they’re not. He sleeps  
over every night, alone in her bed.  
She comes home with a DVD every night  
and we fall asleep to it in my  
bedroom. And mostly I’m totally  
okay with it because she brings  
episodes of Beatrix Potter that  
remind me of my childhood innocence.

SHOSHANA  
Oh my god, Hannah. I am like  
so sorry that I don’t remember the  
address of this party. I really  
thought I had the right thing. 

HANNAH  
Shosh, it doesn’t matter. Let’s  
just go somewhere so I can drink  
this wine. I’m sick of it clinking  
against my purse chain. Find the next  
open doorway or a bear cave. I just  
want to wash this week of my  
internship down the metaphorical  
sink. Usually I love my job but  
all the other interns are so  
wide-eyed and un-New York.  
Some of us are in character and  
some aren’t and it creates a  
confusing pastiche. 

The girls reach a rowdy apartment. Lights are flashing, the sounds of people yelling, and breaking objects can be heard from the street. 

HANNAH (Cont.)  
Let’s go in here. This looks  
like a delightful soiree. 

SHOSHANA  
Hannah, I don’t know this  
place. We could totally  
end up in a dumpster situation.

HANNAH grabs SHOSHANA’s hand and pulls her into the party. 

FADE OUT.

FADE IN.

INT. APARTMENT- NIGHT

HANNAH and SHOSHANA stand next to the wall awkwardly holding wine bottles in their hands. The apartment is dark except for one standing lamp on the other side of the room next to the only couch. There are wood working materials all over the place and a wood bench on the left side of the apartment. 

Young students stand in a big circle around one shirtless man in the center of the crowd. The students are applauding and laughing. He is dancing around crazily.

HANNAH  
Is it weird that we’re at a party  
and literally no one is drinking?

SHOSHANA  
Maybe we’re at like a celibacy party.

HANNAH  
Like an alcohol celibacy party?

SHOSHANA  
Is it like totally horrible if  
we drink? I feel very unpressured  
to drink and somehow that makes  
me feel pressured. Does that make  
sense?

HANNAH  
No, it totally does. Even when I  
feel unpressured to fill in the  
awkward pauses in a conversation,  
I am somehow always pressured. 

SHOSHANA  
I’m not even sure what’s  
happening. 

The shirtless man stops dancing and walks toward the door seeing some people he recognizes. 

ADAM  
What up, bitch? Getting that  
pussy pounded? 

The girls watch him chest bump a small girl with wiry hair. 

ADAM  
Come on in. We’re starting the  
pig roast in 0-100. 

HANNAH watches him travel back through the crowd to a dark doorway and into another room. 

HANNAH  
He is like very tall and  
brooding…like a Mr. Darcy  
on acid. 

SHOSHANA  
Oh my god. You should like  
totally go talk to him. I can  
def. see you two together. 

HANNAH  
Really? In that case. . .

HANNAH leaves SHOSHANA abruptly by the wall alone. 

The girl ADAM spoke to walks over and stands next to SHOSHANA.

TAKO  
Hey.

SHOSHANA  
Hello. 

TAKO  
I’m Tako.

SHOSHANA  
Taco?

TAKO  
No. Tako.

SHOSHANA  
Oh. I think I said that.

TAKO  
No. I just can usually tell when  
people think it’s spelled with a  
“C.” I’m not a menu item for a  
Mexican restaurant.

SHOSHANA  
Oh. What are you?

TAKO  
I’m an actor. 

SHOSHANA  
That’s awesome. I have a British  
cousin. 

TAKO nods and the two stand there awkwardly. 

FADE OUT.  
FADE IN.

INT. BATHROOM- NIGHT

ADAM stands over the toilet peeing while simultaneously drinking a glass of milk. 

HANNAH peeks through the slightly ajar door and walks in.

ADAM  
Woah! Hey!

HANNAH  
Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry.

ADAM  
No wait. Can you grab the mayonnaise  
from the shower?

HANNAH  
Mayonnaise?

ADAM  
Yeah. I like to rub it on  
my dick post-urination. 

She opens the shower curtain and grabs the bottle of mayonnaise. She hands it to him and starts to exit.

ADAM (Cont.)  
Wait. Who are you? I saw you  
come in with your friend with the  
weird hair. 

HANNAH  
I’m Hannah. Just a night traveler  
looking for an orgy.

ADAM  
Really?

HANNAH  
Maybe. I mean, my woman  
parts are coughing up angsty  
monologues into my journal.  
(Pause)  
Sorry, that was a lot.

ADAM  
You could just say “vagina.”

ADAM starts to apply mayonnaise to his dick. HANNAH tries not to look.

HANNAH  
No. I mean, my parents are professors  
who prefer scientific jargon and “woman  
parts” is a term I use to rebel. (pause)  
I’m a writer. I just got out of college  
two years ago and I’ve been living in  
New York. I went to Oberlin and am still  
having the distinct post-wrap sensation  
that all my friends were abruptly stolen  
from me. 

ADAM  
Is this the game?

HANNAH  
I’m sorry… what?

ADAM  
You lure me into my bathroom,  
tell me stories of missing college,  
and get me to fuck your orange tights?

HANNAH  
No. These tights are virginal. If  
anything, someone would make sweet love  
to them.

ADAM laughs.

ADAM  
You’re okay, kid. 

ADAM suddenly manifests a platter of brie from under the sink and offers it to her. HANNAH stands there with a bottle of wine and the platter of brie. She offers the wine to ADAM. He shakes his head “no.” HANNAH chugs from the wine and licks cheese off her fingers. HANNAH is marginally drunk.

ADAM grabs a towel off the floor and wipes the mayonnaise off his dick. He sits down next to HANNAH on the floor.

ADAM (Cont.)  
Do you usually crash parties  
on Friday nights?

HANNAH  
No. My roommate and her  
boyfriend are like totally  
out of sync and I had to get  
away. My life is slowly turning  
into a Bronte novel. Do you  
usually not wear a shirt?

ADAM  
I live alone. 

HANNAH  
What do you do for work?

ADAM  
Whatever I want. 

HANNAH  
Is that code for male prostitution?

ADAM  
Do you want to find out? 

They stare at each other intensely for a moment and then ravish each other with kisses. ADAM picks HANNAH up off the floor and puts her up on the pedestal sink. HANNAH shrieks.

HANNAH  
(Whispering)  
Usually this would be really hot  
but your faucet is impaling my lower  
back bones. 

 

ADAM  
(Whispering)  
Maybe I want you to be in pain.

HANNAH  
I’m sorry…what? 

ADAM  
You knew what was going to happen  
tonight.

HE starts to take off her tights.

HANNAH  
I did?

ADAM  
A high school senior doesn’t  
just walk into a trailer park.

He pulls down his shorts. His penis is enormous. He pulls a condom out of the medicine cabinet and opens the wrapper with his teeth.

HANNAH  
Do you not remember who I am?  
Are you high?

He puts the condom on, shushes her with his right index finger, and plunges his dick into her. She tries to hold back the cries of pain from the faucet plunging into her tailbone.

ADAM  
I’m going to cum all over your  
sweater dress. 

HANNAH  
(Whispering)  
I’m wearing polyester. 

ADAM  
And your school books!!! 

He cries out as he comes. HANNAH sits there looking very uncomfortable and pained. 

 

HANNAH  
Can I have your number?

ADAM pulls his shorts on and walks out the second bathroom door to a dark bedroom.

ADAM  
Yeah. Whatever, kid.

HANNAH  
Kid?

ADAM  
It’s a term of endearment.

HANNAH starts to put her tights back up. She tries to inspect her pained back in the mirror but is too short to see. 

ADAM hands her a business card.

HANNAH  
What’s this?

ADAM  
My number. Text me.

ADAM heads into the dark room and begins masturbating on his bed.

HANNAH  
Okay. . . Thanks? 

FADE OUT.  
FADE IN.

INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT

SHOSHANA stands in the middle of the room dancing with TAKO. She sees HANNAH come back through the bathroom door. 

SHOSHANA  
Hannah! 

HANNAH  
Shosh, something insane just  
happened. 

HANNAH grabs her cell phone and the business card and starts to put Adam’s number into her phone. 

SHOSHANA  
What’s that?

HANNAH  
The business card of the  
trailer park man who just nailed  
me next to the brie. 

SHOSHANA  
Oh my god, Hannah. Did you like  
smoke something? 

HANNAH gets a scared look on her face. 

HANNAH  
Outside!

HANNAH pushes through the people to the outside and suddenly vomits all over her cell phone and a man walking by holding an aquarium. SHOSHANA comes outside behind her.

SHOSHANA  
Oh my god. 

The man holding the aquarium makes a frightened face and walks away scratching his arm. 

SHOSHANA (Cont.)  
Isn’t that the junkie from your  
building? Oh my god! He had a  
turtle! (pause) You threw up on  
his turtle. 

HANNAH  
Everything smells like re-brie. 

FADE OUT.  
THE END.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this Fanfiction because I wanted to create my portrayal of Hannah and Shoshana by following Lena Dunham's canon. The way the characters talk is so strange, yet quippy, and I feel very excited to have captured some of those "Lena moments" in my dialogue. I also wanted to create the story in a screenplay format because I wanted it to seem very real to the show. With less novel-esque description, I could let the characters do what they do in the stage direction without much definition. I also tried to imagine Dunham's process in writing the show and how the awkward yet hilarious lines come to her. Looking back, I would like to have captured more of the idea that they are out-of-college women trying to find careers in the world. I just wouldn't add more to the sex scenes. They speak for themselves and were just so fun to write since Adam is such an openly sexual character.


End file.
